Success is found in trying

When I consider writing a blogpost, usually a series of random things come to mind that I would write about. Instead of sorting through those things, I think I will just include them all. Haha. So:

*There is a cool website called www.takebackhalloween.org  - it has a bunch of costume ideas for girls that aren't trashy and are incredibly unique...they are women throughout history that aren't well known, but probably should be! Isaiah said I should be the volcano queen. Ha. But seriously, it is worth contemplating.

*You know how some people have awesome cooking blogs? That is in no way, shape, or form me or this blog. haha. Let me explain:

I attempted to make a recipe from a cooking blog tonight - I love looking at recipes and dreaming up delicious things to make. Sadly my dreams and reality are far, far apart. Part of the recipe was making dough to wrap the chicken in...the dough about did me in. Making it took a superhuman feat. I gave myself plenty of time to have it done and even then it took me 30 minutes longer than expected. There was flour everywhere and extra sticky dough - I had stuck my hands in the bowl to see why it was still so runny, which then dripped all over the floor - the picture over our sink was splattered with batter from the mixer...and Claire was crying the entire time so every time I came over to put her back on her blanket (oh yeah, she is a nascar roller) or give her her binky, I got sticky dough all over her shirt. And on her blanket. And in her hair. So when I finally got the dough in the bowl to rise I thought HALLELUJAH. I cleaned myself up the best I could and sat down with Claire on the couch. Only later did I realize I had dough all over the backs of my arms which then got smeared on the couch. Haha - oh cooking. At any rate, when it was time to work with the dough an hour and a half later, the dough had doubled in size and was still just as runny. It was oozing up at me like a halloween trick gone horribly wrong. Luckily I had some premade roll dough in the fridge that I substituted instead and the dinner was a success! But imagine my dismay that the dough extravaganza was all for not. So I did what any amateur cook would do - I let the dough rise for another couple hours and decided to try and make rolls haha. I made a couple batches and when they were done... Isaiah and I just couldn't get a whole one down...it was like a sponge of yeast. A yeast sponge. Bad bad bad. Haha - at least we have a whole bowl of dough to prank someone with now. It's legit.

*My sister is having her beautiful baby any day now! I am very excited for her...growing up London and I had many an adventure together; I'm thinking our baby girls will have lots of adventures too. (: It is going to be awesome! I won't get to see them til Christmas time, but I am expecting lots of pictures!


*I have an idea for a novel I want to write. I'm still wrapping my head around the concept. That's imperative for a good book. I feel like my second grade style of killing off the characters to wrap it up isn't going to fly anymore...but more details to come soon...


*Claire can get her knees under her in crawling stance, but she hasn't made that first "step" (first "crawl"? I don't know how you say that) yet, but she's getting there. Lately she has been getting a bit of rug burn on her forehead from scooting along. The girl is crafty. She can get everything off the ground but her toes and that forehead, hence the rug burn....haha I try to help her out, but who am I to clip her wings. She is going to be a lady bug for her first halloween. We did a costume check today...it gave me such a wonderful laugh. hahaha...so cute. What else can I say?

Good news!

Yesterday I was asked to become the newest member of the editorial board for the online scholarly journal SquareTwo. I am so excited! What an opportunity! The journal is comprised of articles and discussion centered on faithful LDS thought on contemporary world issues. A couple years ago I submitted a paper on U.S. relations with Pakistan from a national security class that got published...it was funny to find that in the archives. I think most the articles are fascinating, especially from a Latter-day Saint perspective. For those interested in looking into it, the link is:

http://squaretwo.org/index.html

I will keep you updated on interesting articles and discussion, like the current readers' puzzle on there. I thought it was very interesting! Especially the part about "what will the church's position be?" I agree that if you study these things out in your mind it makes much more sense and we are better prepared for the future.

On to weightier matters, I wish everyone got to see every new little thing Claire does each day. It's incredible! She's rolls all over the place, can scooch her legs up so her stomach is off the floor, smiles all the time, and just chatters away to me. She keeps learning new sounds! Yesterday she mastered this "ahhhhh" noise - it's kind of like a breathy, raspy noise and it is so cute! She talked to me the whole time at the store. She is juuuust like me and Isaiah. I made the mistake of calling her Rasputin - why?? I don't know, it was funny to me - but grandma was not pleased. Isaiah looked up a picture of Rasputin and that made it even funnier.

I assure you Claire does not look like Rasputin. Haha. I'm gonna stick to calling her sweet baby ray. She is beautiful through and through - she makes me so happy. And she seriously makes me laugh everyday. She wants to talk so bad...I'm sure she'll break the language barrier soon. We're starting to place guesses on when she's going to crawl. Our little mastermind (:

Refining

I recently had the opportunity to talk to a dear friend about new motherhood. What a topic. I think it is hard to really fathom until you’re consumed by it and even then you don’t really know what in the world is going on. Ah new life – we decided that being a new mom is a series of paradoxes. How can you be totally overwhelmed and totally fulfilled at the exact same time? Apparently with a new baby anything is possible. Isaiah and I have often commented how fast your blood starts pumping and you instantly feel hot and frustrated when the baby is crying and you’re thinking “ahh what do I do?!” And then pretty soon the storm passes and they lay there so calmly, little angel babies and the moment of frustration is gone. I think all the quick swings of emotion is more taxing then most new moms are used too…I’d say new dads too, but I think I broke Isaiah in on that one so, who knows. Ha ha. As far as survival advice goes on the melting pot of emotions, it’s the same old advice veterans offer for most hard things – it gets easier with time. I, too, was skeptical of that in the beginning, but now I wholeheartedly agree. And it’s not the situation that ever really changes, but it is you, me. The act of becoming is intensely refining – becoming a mother is no exception. I’ve talked to Isaiah about how I feel adequately trained in political science – I have spent years studying and honing my skills, learning to write research memos for the President of China or prescribing solutions for countries in economic peril – but none of that seems to be of necessity now. How, pray tell, do you raise a child? Where is all that training and studying?

Fortunately, the past five months with Claire have answered those things for me. No learning, even in political science, is wasted when you are raising the future. As with most things in motherhood, it’s not usually obvious or markedly apparent what leads to what. For example, you get professional or educational training and you know what you’re going to do with that. Train to be a surgeon, go operate on people. Study to be a 3^rd grade teacher, go teach 3^rd graders. But motherhood – it is the accumulation of a lifetime of experiences, opportunities, choices, and character that somehow combines in such a way to teach a child about the world. And THAT takes creativity.  It is a debilitating trick to think as a mother you must follow a cookie cutter mother pattern. Really, every mom is bringing so many unique things to the table that I have no doubt they have been given to raise their specific kids. To stifle such gifts, experiences, choices, etc. to fit into the mold is a shame…and extremely boring. If you limit yourself to what you “think” mothers do, especially by the world’s definition, you might feel utterly dismayed and hopeless – trapped in the walls of your own home with the twin monsters of diapers and burp cloths. But if you think of the things you love to do, the things you’re good at, things you want to learn, and so forth, and get reeeal creative, you’ll find a way to do that with your baby- all the while raising a child with the “motherhood” training you never knew you had. It is attitude, perspective, insight – a change of self more than a change of situation. As for me, I’m raising a future world politician, famous singer, or novelist, among many, many other things. Overwhelming, certainly. Frustrating, at times. Boring – only if I make it so. In the words of my mother - Oh the possibilities.